Big, big thanks to Blindingham for his submissions. If we ever work out where the Chiltern Gateway Centre is, I will send him a Bedfordshire Clanger for his efforts ;)

Lyrics

Cortinarius ponderosus
also known as the Ponderous Cortinarius
is a basidiomycete mushroom of the genus Cortinarius.

It is very large
and due to its thick stem
it can be mistaken for Boletus edulis.

This mushroom is one of the largest mushrooms in the genus Cortinarius,
with a convex cap
that ranges from 8 to 38 cm across
and becomes plane in age.

It often has an olive metallic tinge,
and the surface is viscid,
often with small rusty brown scales.

The margin is ocher
and remains inrolled until the mushroom is fully mature.
The flesh of the mushroom is white, thick and firm.
The gills are rusty brown, adnate and slightly decurrent.
The stalk is thick and bulbous at the base.

It has a slimy yellow universal veil,
and the cortina leaves a rusty brown hairy area on the upper stalk.

(That’ll do.)

(Bulbous at the base
Bleugh sod, I’m so close
F!
That was the chord I was after at that point.
Or D Minor.
[That was the effing chord]
D Minor, that’s what I meant.)

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